"Loving?"
- Dr. Todd R. Wright
- 3 days ago
- 5 min read
Jesus refused to lose focus. His heart must have been breaking over Judas. Most would have responded with hate, but he commanded love.
John 13:31-35
May 18, 2025
Dr. Todd R. Wright
According to a study published by Ipsos in partnership with the Episcopal church as part of its “Jesus in America” survey,[2] Christians see themselves as …
giving, compassionate, loving, respectful, friendly, honest, humble, sharing, truthful …
and way down in 10th place, we admit we are, sometimes, judgmental.
In the survey, those identifying with other religions describe Christians as …
judgmental, hypocritical, self-righteous, arrogant … and then a mixed bag of …
friendly, giving, unforgiving, disrespectful, compassionate, and loving.
It gets worse. Those identifying as non-religious say Christians are …
hypocritical, judgmental, self-righteous, arrogant, unforgiving, selfish, disrespectful …
Only in the final three spots do they admit Christians can be giving, friendly, and compassionate.
It is enough to break our Savior’s heart.
After all, according to John, one of the last things he said to his disciples was command them to love one another, as he had loved them, so everyone would know them by their love.
Let’s look back at that pivotal moment and see where we lost our way:
Notice the context. Its important.
Jesus doesn’t just blurt out the command to love while sitting in the sunshine.
He shares it on the last night with his disciples, after he tells them that his spirit is troubled because one of the 12 will betray him.
They ask, “Who?” Maybe out of disbelief; maybe out of anger.
They never figure it out; Judas leaves; and any immediate violence is avoided.
Debie Thomas imagines the scene. “Judas has left the Last Supper in order to carry out his betrayal, the crucifixion clock is ticking fast, and Jesus knows that his disciples are about to face the greatest devastation of their lives. So he gets right to the point. No parables, no stories, no pithy sayings. Just one commandment.”[3]
She continues “He doesn’t say, ‘Believe the right things.’ [Or] ‘Maintain personal and doctrinal purity.’ [Or] ‘Worship like this or attend a church like that.’ He doesn’t even say, ‘Read your Bible,’ or ‘Pray every day,’ or ‘Preach the Gospel to every living creature.’ He says, ‘Love one another.’ That’s it. The last dream of a dead man walking.”
But we get distracted. We focus on Judas and wonder how he could betray the one he had followed for three years. We focus on assigning blame, and we forget to love. Or we grumble about people who don’t do the right things in the right way, and we fail to love. Or we make a checklist and feel satisfied because we’ve given, prayed, sung, and studied, but we don’t include loving on the list.
Jesus refused to lose focus. His heart must have been breaking over Judas. Most would have responded with hate, but he commanded love.
He knew there would always be reasons for his followers to act otherwise. We have quick tempers and long memories for revenge. We are not always guided by reason or faith. So Jesus says you must “love one another.”
He says it is a new commandment. It isn’t. Not really.
Karoline Lewis writes, “Loving one another is part of Jewish tradition[4], is present in the Greco-Roman world around them, and is seen in other religious traditions as well.”[5]
What is new here is that Jesus says, love as I have loved you.
He says this as they shuffle their freshly washed feet; as their faces still blush from having
their master do what only a slave should be expected to do; as their heads still spin from the implications of doing what he does.
On Maundy Thursday Christians traditionally mimic what he did – washing one another’s feet, or alternatively others’ hands, or their own hands. We say we love one another, but we are embarrassed to be that intimate.
Pope Francis wasn’t.
Two weeks after being elected pope, in March of 2013, he washed the feet of 12 teenagers at a youth prison, including two women and two Muslims.
It was a break from tradition, but as he said, "It is not in soul-searching ... that we encounter the Lord. We need to go out ... to the outskirts where there is suffering, bloodshed, blindness that longs for sight and prisoners in thrall to many evil masters."[6]
I don’t know how she would have answered the Ipsos survey, but Valeria Angela Montis, a 38-year-old Roman said, “I am happy to see a pope who doesn't think he is God on earth and teaches what Jesus taught 2,000 years ago ... [a] teaching the church seemed to have forgotten years ago.”[7]
Pope Francis kept at it. He was too sick this past spring, but in March of 2024 there he was, at another prison, washing the feet of twelve women from his wheelchair.
Just as Jesus commanded.
One scholar writes, “Commandment means something specific here. The original commandments were given to the community of God’s people in the wilderness, [so that they might] get through an unfamiliar and frightening place together. This is how we make it. This is what we do.”[8]
The disciples are facing a similar situation and Jesus knows it. He gives them this
commandment so that they might get through an unfamiliar and frightening few days together; so that they might experience how to make it; so that they might teach others what to do in dark times.
If we fail to love, as commanded, we miss out on that gift, on that candle in the dark, on that safe path through the valley of death.
We also fail to witness to God’s unconditional, uncompromising, unexpected, undeserved love.
And that is why those survey-takers were so hard on Christians.
They have not seen that side of us enough.
Debie Thomas confesses on our behalf:
“Love is vulnerable-making, and I’d rather not be vulnerable.
Love requires trust, and I’m naturally suspicious.
Love spills over margins and boundaries, and I feel safer and holier policing my borders.
Love takes time, effort, discipline, and transformation, and I am [too] busy.”[9]
But the fact remains: “We have a God who first and foremost wants every one of his children to feel loved. Not shamed. Not punished. Not chastised. Not judged. Not isolated. Loved.”
God does not expect us to dig deep and do it by our own power. Love is a gift. Jesus has told us to follow his example. To do what he did; to love as he loved:
So “weep with those who weep. Laugh with those who laugh. Touch the untouchables. Feed the hungry. Welcome the child. Release captives. Forgive sinners. Confront oppressors. Comfort the oppressed. Wash each other’s feet. Hold each other close. Tell each other the truth. Guide [people] home,” to a place of safety and welcome.
And everyone, even survey-takers, will know that we are Christians by our love. Amen
[1] “The Washing of the Feet” by Sieger Köder
[3] Here and following, from “If You Love” 5/12/19
[4] See Leviticus 19:18
[5] From “Real Love” 5/12/19
[7] Ibid
[8] From “An inheritance of love” by Sarah Scherschligt for the Christian Century, 5/13/22
[9] Here and following, from “If You Love” 5/12/19